Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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