i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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