Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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