i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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