and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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