Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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