my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
