dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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