Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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