he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
did you just send me my own nude
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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