I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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