I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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