so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
