A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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