The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
