ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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