I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
