1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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