What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize