1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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