it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
