Quick, to the slutcave!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am available for nakedness
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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