We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
