mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
