Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she pinky promised me she was 18
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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