So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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