It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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