just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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