we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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