did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Text me some of your sweat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
