you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
