all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize