wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
