There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we're so committed to being not committed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
