I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
