Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
