i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
