lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
