i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
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The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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