RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
accomplished twins. life is a go
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
