Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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