tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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