Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
