I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
