Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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