Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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