I'm going to jail i love you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
