I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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