i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
