it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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