i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
