I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
