East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
