You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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