Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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