i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
