some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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