She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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