Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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