Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
